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Awaiting my Death

from Epistemological Despondency by Esoteric

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lyrics

Windows of shattered dreams.
Laid out before me.
My broken reflection hauntingly stares back,
As once again I pick up the pieces of my mind.

Rebuilding myself again.
And I know what is done.
The smaller pieces lost.
They used to be large,
But now they are gone.

I cannot find my hope, my joy or my life,
Just empty splinters embedded in my mind.
Causing me pain, I grimace in awe at the overwhelming pain.
Caused by what I've lost, by what has been destroyed.

My scars start to bleed.
From my wounds of sorrow,
I watch the blood run.
A release of my self-hate,
And still the blood flows:

Scarred all over my body.
With each scar comes a memory of pain.
Though it's hard to tell now, they all look the same.
Awaiting the day when my blood is no more,
Maybe then the pain will be gone.
I await my death with both relief and with fear,
I sense that my shattered mind knows it is near.

credits

from Epistemological Despondency, released October 1, 1994
Music & Lyrics - Greg Chandler

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Esoteric Birmingham, UK

For over thirty years ESOTERIC have been pushing the limits of sonic intensity. From the mind-bending darkness of their 90’s double albums ‘Epistemological Despondency’ and ‘The Pernicious Enigma’, to the expansive epics found on their recent opuses ‘The Maniacal Vale’ and ‘A Pyrrhic Existence’, they have never compromised their initial aim – to unleash aural mayhem on unsuspecting listeners. ... more

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